Relationships can be complicated at times. They even have an option on facebook that says, “it’s complicated” when describing what type of relationship that you are in.

Have you seen it?

Human beings are detailed complex creatures that carry so many different thoughts, feelings, and ideas that it would almost be silly to think that relationships with others are not complicated.

Why do they seem so complicated?

Is it because we, as human beings have a tendency to project our own issues upon others in order to make ourselves feel better? Or is it because those thoughts and feelings that we have about ourselves play a direct role in the way we perceive how things need to be or how we want them to be when we engage in relationships?

Be The Best You!

Screen Shot 2016-07-05 at 1.53.54 PM

It appears to me that too many people focus on what is wrong with the other person in the relationship. Maybe it would be more beneficial

to the relationship if both agreed to be the best version of themselves and take the focus off of each other.

Too many times we want to blame the other person about what drives us crazy instead of focusing on the “real” issue, which is, “why am I getting triggered and upset over what this other person is doing”? Isn’t it fair to say that we are responsible for our own feelings and how we react to those feelings? In other words, how we relate to the issue becomes the issue.

That statement alone adds to the notion that it really is about you and not the other person. This is a hard pill for some to swallow because it is so much easier to blame the other person.

I always hear my clients say, “you made me feel angry” when they are communicating about their partner. I have to gently remind them that nobody else is responsible for how they feel and that most likely the feeling is coming from a trigger of how they feel about themselves in relation to what was being said.

A person cannot hold a gun to your head and “make you feel happy”, most likely you are going to get scared or angry.

The Takeaway

My point being is that we all have to take ownership of our own feelings and stop blaming others for them.

So, just remember the next time that you feel like blaming your partner take a moment to stop yourself and check in with yourself as to why his/her behavior is triggering that “upset” within you.  Your relationship may benefit from this simple technique.

What do You Guys Think?

Always love to hear your thoughts so be sure to leave a comment below 🙂